The topic of confidence has come up numerous times this week in my conversations with clients and students……so what’s it all about?
My take on self-confidence is about balance; getting that level of satisfaction in knowing you are excellent at what you do without ego getting in the way.
If you look around there are human beings at other extremes of the self-confidence spectrum; those with very low self-confidence then those who are over-confident.
Being under-confident, can lead you to taking fewer if any risks; developing and stretching yourself may never happen. At the other end, being over-confident may see you take too many risks, spin too many plates, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and whoops you crash. Those over-confident people may also find that their optimism may mean they don’t really try hard enough to truly succeed at what they are good at!
Therefore my suggestion is that you have a go at getting this right, which is simply being grounded in reality and your true ability at this point in time (remember as you grow your confidence grows).
You take risks that are well thought through, and informed, stretch yourself when it is right to do so (not taking ill considered risks) and just work hard at your core self.
It also helps to reflect on your skills, knowledge and competencies with others and get a 360 degree view of others perceptions of your abilities…you maybe surprised.
Self-Confidence is made up of 3 Components:
- General Confidence
Each of these skills/competencies inter-relates and has a bearing on how you see and value yourself and usually all need tweaking from time to time. How do you see yourself in each of the components?
So, moving along the path
To build a balanced state of self-confidence is not a 10 minutes quick fix, it takes a bit of time (its different for everyone) however the good news is, it can be done; a firm and grounded footing; being focused and determined to get on with building this competency; which eventually will become embedded in your repertoire of expertise and that nobody can take from you….!.
First Task is
Getting prepared – so what are you trying to achieve? A good way is to take stock and spend a bit of time reflecting on 5HW: What; Why; When; Who; Where; How. Another strategy is to update your SWOT Analysis; that gives you a clear picture; if you have a journal of Achievement that can support your reflection to. Jot down half a dozen things you have achieved in the last 6 months…..Amazing, I bet you could add more, go on then SMILE at those achievements. Now you have a positive starting point as you can begin to see the picture emerging – begin to set one or two goals you want to achieve and put dates next to them (you can add other goals later.)
Now is the time to start slowly moving towards the goals; small steps at a time. As you move along and become more proficient and success builds you find that your confidence grows. Remember to ‘keep things simple’ and that there is ‘no such thing as perfection!!!!’ begin to watch the successes. You will make mistakes but I see those as wonderful learning experiences and we all need them to enable us grow – so don’t be disheartened, accept that it happens, LEARN from it and stay positive.
Is about moving towards success. This is where your confidence is growing and its time to consider setting bigger goals, growing your vision, and recognising how your confidence has developed. Yes, it means continuing to stay grounded, balanced, and true to your own values & beliefs however it really makes you tingle with delight! Get going…..what the magic happen.
Put yourself at the centre of your Universe of Confidence
- Stop trying to be perfect – there is no such thing!
- Recognise when you have done a, ‘good enough’ job
- Don’t get very serious – after all this is your life
- Remember to smile more often
- Acknowledge you will make cock-ups – get over it!
- Show compassion for others
- When you make a mistake – learn not to do it again
- Listen to you knowingness/intuition/get feeling more often
- Look round corners you never know what you may find
- Don’t beat yourself you – you are human with all the quirks and foibles so smile and move on.
- Attempt to keep Balance in your life.
I have Confidence Building Seminars coming up in July – let me know if you are interested or check the website events: https://abfablife.co.uk/events/
Until next time