Category Archives: Stress Alchemy

Life-Work Balance Your 5 minute Quick Quiz

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Life/Work

Life and Work,“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life”  http://quoteaddicts.com

I believe we have to put Life first because it is all we have. If we go some way to having a balanced life, then the rest will follow. In truth, not many people reflect on themselves and their needs just everyone else’s.

I ask the question “does balance figure in your life and work?” If not, why not? You need as much ‘Playtime’ as you have ‘Worktime’ Even though you might enjoy your job, you still need time away from it; similar to your personal life you need your ‘work’ to give you an anchor.

Which way does your Balance Tip?

Without a little balance, stressors can begin to creep in, and life moves out of kilter. So, is there anything you might need to change? If so maybe it’s time to ‘Do the Doing’ (check this out)

The Quick Quiz

Just indicate with a yes next to any of these that apply to you and we will see.

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Tips for Connecting your Mind & Body

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How often do you get to the end of the day and you have a headache; tension everywhere; you have forgotten to eat; not had enough fluid; even left emptying your bladder until you are desperate (ugh!)…..?  OK so the connection with your mind & body just has just not been happening – why?  Yes I am going to bang on about Mindfulness but come on don’t you owe it to that wonderful machine that carts you round all day to STOP and smell the roses?

When was the last time you really did listen to your body’s inner messages? We all have them (and that includes our intuition but that’s another blog.)  Respecting when your body has needs is a priority so think on peeps; give it a few thoughts throughout the day; connect with your mind ‘MINDFULLY’ – what is it asking for: food/loo/ water/ sleep/relaxation/laughter/social activities?

Check out the current stressors in your life that prevent the connection between your Mind & Body – can they be reduced? check out my quiz

Feedback from my students includes areas to consider:

  • Time for you: Relaxation: Do something good for you, Schedule “worry time”, and Schedule time out just for yourself to use as you please.
  • Relationships do you checkout you have and maintain supportive relationships, do you manage your relationships or just coast along?
  • What about improving your relationship with yourself when was the last time you checked out your negative ‘self-talk’?
  • What about your commitments? Are you wasting energy or investing your energy?
  • Invest time in Mindfulness/Relaxation and just be ‘in the moment’ for a few minutes at a time throughout the day.
  • Get on with all those activities you have a passion for and ditch the rest!!!!!
  • Empower others by delegating tasks and that means to your FAMILY; get them to take on responsibilities; yes it might take time and effort but oh boy it produces well grounded young people.

Be mindful of the negative External stressors in your life – physical conditions such as heat or cold, stressful psychological environments such as working conditions, abusive relationships, e.g., bullying and then the negative Internal stressors – physical ailments such as infection or inflammation, or psychological problems such as worrying about something.   They all affect your Mind/Body connection in one way or another, don’t you owe it to yourself to listen and come back to yourself?

If you are interested in knowing more I am running 2 free talks on International Women’s Day at Wellbeing @ The Wishing Well Bromsgrove 11.00 -11.30am & 11.45-12:15pm on ‘Stress & Success – the Mind/Body Connection’ – there are limited places so book with the centre on  01527 570 838.

Until next time

Warmth

Donnah

A Solstice Visualisation

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Winter Solstice – Rebirth of Light.

Take your awareness to your body starting with your head and slowly work downwards to your toes releasing any tension you may find by breathing into each part, gently stretching out your muscles and then breathing out and releasing.

Once you have arrived at your toes & the soles of your feet and you are feeling more relaxed, take three deep breathes in and out and relax down further into the chair/floor.

You are beginning to feel warm, safe, and relaxed.  Just let your breath come and go at its own natural rhythm and any thoughts that may wander into your head just let them trickle out again, pay them no attention, let them go with each out breath.  Stay focused on the breath.

I would like you to imagine you are going for a walk on the shortest day of the year: its the day of the Winter Solstice.  The hours of daylight are few, the sun rises late, and sets early, the mid-day hours of light are precious and pass all too quickly.  You are wrapped up warmly as you step outside into the pale yellow sunshine and blue sky.  You begin to make your way to your favourite spot near a lake.

Relax into a comfortable walking pace that keeps your body warm and supple.  Feel the ground beneath your feet, it’s solid and supports you well; take notice of those things around you, your breath which comes out as soft white mist, the frozen ground which breaks into tiny crystals as you walk over it, and see the sunlight burst across the ice into bright rainbow colours.  Smell the frost as you breathe in and out; hear the sounds of the open space around you, the birds, the ice cracking, and animals in the distance.  You can also smell the pine from the nearby trees which is just wafting along on the winter breeze. 

You reach the lake and sit on the bench which looks out onto a breathtakingly beautiful scene; the sun over the hills in the distance, the sky blue, and the lake so still, its like glass with the world around reflected in it. 

As you sit there feeling warm and relaxed, your thoughts move inward as you close your eyes and move into a dreamlike state; you begin to find yourself becoming surrounded by the most glorious colours of the rainbow; you feel so relaxed, warm; safe and content as you breathe these colours in and out as they fill your whole body inside and out.  You feel warm and vibrant; this state reminds you of the vitality of life; stay here a little while and experience this energy.

Spend a little time here………………………

Slowly begin to bring your awareness back to the bench on which you are sitting and the lake in front of you, you begin to stretch and once ready make your way back along the path and back into this room.

Be aware of the sensations in the room, your breathing, the warmth, those around you, take a couple of deep breaths in and out and when ready slowly open your eyes and bring the room into focus.

My love and festive wishes for you and yours over the holiday period Until next time

Donnah Morgan

2013

Balance; Self-Confidence & You.

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The topic of confidence has come up numerous times this week in my conversations with clients and students……so what’s it all about?

My take on self-confidence is about balance; getting that level of satisfaction in knowing you are excellent at what you do without ego getting in the way.

If you look around there are human beings at other extremes of the self-confidence spectrum; those with very low self-confidence then those who are over-confident.

Being under-confident, can lead you to taking fewer if any risks; developing and stretching yourself may never happen.  At the other end, being over-confident may see you take too many risks, spin too many plates, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and whoops you crash. Those over-confident people may also find that their optimism may mean they don’t really try hard enough to truly succeed at what they are good at!

Therefore my suggestion is that you have a go at getting this right, which is simply being grounded in reality and your true ability at this point in time (remember as you grow your confidence grows).

You take risks that are well thought through, and informed, stretch yourself when it is right to do so (not taking ill considered risks) and just work hard at your core self.

It also helps to reflect on your skills, knowledge and competencies with others and get a 360 degree view of others perceptions of your abilities…you maybe surprised.

 Self-Confidence is made up of 3 Components:

  • Assertiveness
  • Self-Esteem
  • General Confidence

Each of these skills/competencies inter-relates and has a bearing on how you see and value yourself and usually all need tweaking from time to time.  How do you see yourself in each of the components?

So, moving along the path

To build a balanced state of self-confidence is not a 10 minutes quick fix, it takes a bit of time (its different for everyone) however the good news is, it can be done; a firm and grounded footing; being focused and determined to get on with building this competency; which eventually will become embedded in your repertoire of expertise and that nobody can take from you….!. 

First Task is

Getting prepared – so what are you trying to achieve? A good way is to take stock and spend a bit of time reflecting on 5HW: What; Why; When; Who; Where; How. Another strategy is to update your SWOT Analysis; that gives you a clear picture; if you have a journal of Achievement that can support your reflection to.  Jot down half a dozen things you have achieved in the last 6 months…..Amazing, I bet you could add more, go on then SMILE at those achievements. Now you have a positive starting point as you can begin to see the picture emerging – begin to set one or two goals you want to achieve and put dates next to them (you can add other goals later.)

Second Task

Now is the time to start slowly moving towards the goals; small steps at a time. As you move along and become more proficient and success builds you find that your confidence grows.  Remember to ‘keep things simple’ and that there is ‘no such thing as perfection!!!!’ begin to watch the successes.  You will make mistakes but I see those as wonderful learning experiences and we all need them to enable us grow – so don’t be disheartened, accept that it happens, LEARN from it and stay positive.

Third Task

Is about moving towards success. This is where your confidence is growing and its time to consider setting bigger goals, growing your vision, and recognising how your confidence has developed. Yes, it means continuing to stay grounded, balanced, and true to your own values & beliefs however it really makes you tingle with delight! Get going…..what the magic happen.

Put yourself at the centre of your Universe of Confidence

  • Stop trying to be perfect – there is no such thing!
  • Recognise when you have done a, ‘good enough’ job
  • Don’t get very serious – after all this is your life
  • Remember to smile more often
  • Acknowledge you will make cock-ups – get over it!
  • Show compassion for others
  • When you make a mistake – learn not to do it again
  • Listen to you knowingness/intuition/get feeling more often
  • Look round corners you never know what you may find
  • Don’t beat yourself you – you are human with all the quirks and foibles so smile and move on.
  • Attempt to keep Balance in your life.

I have Confidence Building Seminars coming up in July – let me know if you are interested or check the website events: https://abfablife.co.uk/events/

Until next time

Donnah

Mindfulness Smile’s = Magic…….

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I know I bang on about Mindfulness and I know you all tell me you don’t have time….(bet I could find you time if I followed you for a day!)  So lets take Mindfulness to a Micro Level which is doable and as we all know its about the ‘DOING’  So my challenge to you is to have a go at the latest practice I have given my students…….

Decide to take 2 minutes time out and sit quietly where you won’t be disturbed

Take a couple of deep breathes in and out relaxing the body; especially the shoulders and jaw!

As you breathe in smile to yourself and feel that happy energy begin because you are releasing those smiley endorphins into the brain.

As you breathe out release the smile, relaxing the face

And now breathe in smiling again feeling it reach your eyes

And out, relaxing the face….

Let go of thoughts by just focusing on the breath, the smile and the energy beginning to change throughout your body

Keep this going for 2 minutes and check out how happy and balanced you feel at the end

Continue with the rest of your day.

Do this a few times throughout the day and it’s amazing how your energy changes.

Until Next time

Warmth

Donnah 

Where the magic begins…..Self!

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Here’s one to ponder:  Question – who are the 3 most important people in your life?  and your responses: Family/Partner/Parents/Friends are the most common

What would you say if I suggested the first should be – SELF?  and that’s not about being selfish its about Self-Care.  Once you understand Self-Care the magic can begin.

Next: Do you have a Life/Work Balance?    Life balance and personal happiness do not necessarily depend on earning more money and being successful at work or in business.

Other things can have a much bigger impact on our well-being such as Self-Care – Self-Care is not being selfish, it’s about looking after YOU then you can look after your life/family/business more successfully.

If you are out of balance then the other parts of your life will be. Obviously these change as you develop/age/once you know the real you and we all need to consider what our own life/work balance means and what it depends on, however this is often forgotten when reflecting and planning in business. 

What makes your life well balanced and happy and how do you ensure you include these strategies in your life?

  • Try to find a Life Work Balance of 50/50
  • Learn to Tame the Mad Monkeys – those thoughts that stay in your head all day every day! Learning excellent breathing techniques works as does Mindfulness

Self Care Strategies which work:

·       A massive key  is how to relax properly and understand the difference between Passive/Focused/Complete  and which can lead to meditative state.

·        Assertiveness and learning to say NO! (not rejecting the other person but just saying NO to the request) is life changing and aids self-confidence

·        Time management/Allocate times to all tasks – did you guess right?

·        Listen to gut instinct/knowingness it is a great guide

·        Build in Time for Self – you do it for TV, i pads, computers, phones others, why not self?

·        No multi tasking – too many mistakes get made

·        Empower others (in other words delegate! lol)

·        Stay in the moment – Mindfulness is key

·        Manage your energy – take breaks, don’t let other slurp your energy either (click here)

 Top tips:

·        Freeze-unfreeze – check for tension then let it dissolve

·        3 minute rule – if it can be done in 3 minutes or less just do it – you get tons of half finished tiny jobs completed

·        Self-care checklist – list what you need to do for you and get on and ‘do it’

It begins to feel like magic as it starts to come together – but small steps peeps one at a time and stop for a bit of reflection……

Until next time – look after Yourself

Warmth

Donnah